Man Robs a Corner Shop for a Pack of Fags (allegedly)

I heard about this story the other day and thought It was worth looking digging a little deeper.

For anyone from outside the UK, this is what a washing-up liquid bottle looks like:

Plastic, flimsy, very bendable. Not exactly a weapon, unlike, say, a beer bottle, or even deadlier; the legendary (well, used in some films) half a smashed wine bottle.

The main question for me, especially when I read the title, was:

How on earth could a person use a washing up liquid bottle as a weapon?

I decided to list the possible practical ways you could use a fairy liquid bottle as a legitimate weapon, in rank of dangerousness.

1. He could have filled it with boiling animal fats and threatened to spray the boiling animal fats at him.

In terms of practicality, this could be extremely dangerous if the right conditions were in place.

How would this be done, you ask? Well, there’s one option.

To get to this point, he'd need to get the boiling animal fats into a fairy liquid bottle. The most likely way he could have done this, would have been to cook some bacon, and filter the fat off to a fairy liquid bottle, through a funnel. Unlikely that he’d be able to do this then make his way over to the shop in enough time that the fats were still hot enough to be enough of a threat to squeeze a pack of fags out of the poor, scared shopkeeper.

He’d also need to live really close to the shop, or at least, have access to a kitchen close to the shop in order to get there in time.

Also, the fat would most likely melt through the plastic and burn the robber’s hands.

2. He could use it as an extension of his fist

This is quite likely the only thing he’ll have thought of in this situation, implying he was thinking anything at all. He was gasping for a fag THAT MUCH that he decided to rob a shop with a fairy liquid bottle. (allegedly).

If it was full, the soap wouldn't be too nice in your eyes.
“If you don’t give me a pack of fags, I’ll spray this fairy liquid in your eyes!” is how I imagine the conversation would have went. If I was in the shopkeeper’s shoes, this is the one I’d go for. The simple reason being that I would be like “no, fuck you, go on, spray me with the fairy liquid, I dare you!” and when he does it, I could just close my eyes.

3. It could be cut into sharper pieces of plastic and fashioned into a knife.

Now I’m just exploring the endless possibilities of turning a fairy liquid bottle into a weapon. In this case, I doubt that he got a pack of scissors out and turned the fairy liquid bottle into a knife. Plus, he could have just used the scissors to threaten the shopkeeper.

Or, maybe, he thought he’d get less prison time with a knife that was sharp enough to give a nasty scratch to your skin, but not enough for a full stab!

4. It could be burned so the toxic fumes suffocate the shop owner (this one would require a lot of setup, and by the time it started to work, I think the police would have arrived already.

I'm very keen to explore all of the other ways that a harmless bottle of washing up liquid could be used to rob a shop. There's a comment section below, how would you rob a shop with a washing up liquid bottle? Let me know below!

Disclaimer - yes, this did happen in Middlesbrough, but crime happens all around the country and much worse. It's by no means at all one of the worst places in the UK to live, and in fact I'd say it's among the best places to live! And this incident hardly illustrates any way that Middlesbrough's a bad place to live, just that one idiot lives around the corner from a shop and thinks it's ok to rob - but notice, our authorities aren't letting him away with it (if he did do it).

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